How to Make Coffee Using This Aeropress Coffee Thingie

If you’ve ever wanted to replicate the well-to-do, easy life of George Clooney you’ve probably considered buying a bench-top espresso machine. This would be a mistake. Any machine worth less than five figures is going to make you something that resembles an espresso from afar but, like a French kiss from a sex doll, disappoints the tongue.

For the same price you could buy more than 400 Aeropresses (or just one for $50). Designed by a generic Frisbee maker, these penis-pump-like cylinders have become an unlikely hit with baristas the world over. The allure is threefold: the coffee balances body with a clarity of flavour; the cylinders look both phallic enhancing and breast-pumpy; and they are easy enough for someone who makes Frisbee rip-offs for a living to use.

Depending on water temperature, grind coarseness and extraction time, your cups can vary in intensity from a near-espresso smackdown to a coffee-flavoured tea, and there’s a lot of fun to be had in experimenting with minor changes in your method. Next time George offers you a cup of trash from his Nespresso, tell him you’d rather ‘push one through’.

SEVEN STEPS TO AWESOME COFFEE
We use the inverted method, turning the Aeropress upside down, because we like our coffee strong. These nutcases have outlined their award-winning recipes, but here’s our basic seven-point plan for normal people

1) Get a measly 20 grams of beans. Grind well.

3) Turn the plunger bit upside down and put the main chamber on top.

Add coffee and 150 ml of water. Remember not to have the water too hot, dummy.

5) place the cap with washed filter on top, and wait for like 30 seconds to 1 minute.

6) Turn the right way up and push through over your cup.

Published in TheThousands, March 2012