Before I worked in advertising, I’d sometimes pen slightly acerbic, hopefully always interesting product write-ups for magazines and brand websites. The aim was to inform without putting the reader to sleep or making them feel sold to. Here are some examples of that writing, which I could also do for your business if only you’d get in touch.

Fare Well Co.

Sweatshops are bad. You know it. Michael Moore knows it. Fashion labels know it too, which is why many have stopped using them altogether.

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Aeropress Coffee Thingie

If you’ve ever wanted to replicate the well-to-do, easy life of George Clooney you’ve probably considered buying a bench-top espresso machine. This would be a mistake.

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Hickorees Tree Swing

Here’s a little-known fact about former Prime Minister Paul Keating: he used to jump on a trampoline because he believed it would rid his body of cancer.

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The Domino Effect

Anything old Latino men do to whittle away their golden years is probably worth draining the country’s GDP for. Like dominoes.

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The Rag and Bone Man

Back in the ’60s, the idea that you could tell a man’s worth by how well he knew his way around a golf course was so widespread that the first question the CIA asked job applicants was which club they’d use on the 13th tee.

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Oli & Levi

I challenge you to find one goddamn thing in this town you can eat for less than $2.00 that’s not the worst thing you’ve ever laid tongues on. And I just as quickly retract the challenge because I have found the solution.

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Ark Coffee

Remember when you found out that a tomato was actually a fruit? That was a trip.

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Stamped Out

My review of Nowherelands, Bjørn Berge’s book of postage stamps from countries that no longer exist. Not really a brand writeup but I didn’t know where else to put this.

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